The NHL All Ugly Team

Given today's rather uneventful day of no hockey, I decided to unveil the All Ugly Team. The following 4 lines of forwards, 3 pairs of defensemen, 2 reserves and 2 goalies make up the NHL's ugliest roster. Of course, this may be just my opinion but it still doesn't take away from the humor. Hockey's never been a "pretty boy" sport and I know that, but some of these guys are just plain scary looking.

LINE 1

Jarkko Ruutu (L), Bobby Holik (C) and Tyler Kennedy (R) make up the first line of the All Ugly Team. Jarkko Ruutu's ancestry apparently dates back to dinosaurs, which might explain his bite of Buffalo Sabres forward Adam Mair. I swear I've seen Bobby Holik in the Gieco commercials as a caveman and Tyler Kennedy is simply weird looking on top of being a whiner for the Pittsburgh Penguins.

LINE 2

Anchored by Rod Brind'Amour (C) and his serial-killer-like stoneface, Rod displays that ugliness can also be displayed on the ice as well, just look at his -29. Then helping out on the left wing is Miroslav Satan, sporting a lovely uni-brow and same facial hair since the 1997 season. On the right we have Nathan Horton, a promising young star for the Panthers, who resembles a Goomba from the early 90's live action Super Mario Brothers movie.

LINE 3

Alexander Ovechkin (L) is proof that scoring goals will not improve your looks. The NHL's leading goal scorer and MVP gives himself good reason to wear a dark visor. Another NHL star, Pavel Datsyuk, has a rare triangular head, giving him a Green Goblin-esque head. On the right is Kings forward Michael Handzus, who just looks like the creepy neighbor that your family doesn't invite to the Christmas Party for a reason.

LINE 4

If I were to ever meet Sharks tough-guy Jody Shelley (L), I'd probably ask him what sour fruit he bit into before taking this picture. In the center is Kings forward Anze Kopitar, a talented player who possesses the facial attributes of a cross between Lurch from the Adams family and Frankenstein. On the right is Maple Leafs forward Jason Blake, who's ugliness is only topped by his persistent complaining and crying to referees.

RESERVES

Hey, it's Woogie from There's Something About Mary! Oh wait...that's just Jason Chimera (L). Look at Jiri Hudler (R) and try to convince me that his nickname wasn't "Beans" in elementary school.

DEFENSIVE PAIRING 1

Thrashers Alternate Captain Niclas Havelid (L) is currently in his 3rd season with the Thrashers but is also in his 35th year of looking like a troll. Av's defensemen Adam Foote (R) simply reminds me of Freddy Krueger, ultimately making him 10 times scarier.

DEFENSIVE PAIRING 2

On the left is Boston defensemen Shane Hnidy, the sheriff. Certainly not the best looking sheriff in town, but he makes up for it with his hard hitting and willingness to drop the gloves. Teppo Numminen (R) has been through a great deal in his 15 year hockey career, but he still looks like a decaying skeleton.

DEFENSIVE PAIRING 3

Aaron Johnson (L) is not fully human. He's 50% man, 50% ewok from Star Wars. Sami Salo rounds out the list of defensemen, who in my opinion looks like a 70 year old woman.

GOALTENDERS

Starting in net is Pascal Leclaire, we should give him credit though. He's the first person from WhoVille to play in the NHL, The Grinch is proud you injury prone 1st round draft pick. Backing him up is the Bulin Wall, perhaps he earned that nickname from stopping pucks with his face rather than his blocker.

Bruins, Fernandez Stumble Against Bolts

Today, Barry Melrose's hopes were crushed even further. When the now ex-Lightning coach was fired 16 games into the season he wished a rather harsh future for the Lightning saying 'I hope they don't win another game all season.'. For the most part, his wish has come true as the Lightning find themselves in 13th in the Eastern Conference, 16 points away from the 8th seed. Tampa has also been the site of what seems like never-ending trade rumors of veterans Vincent Lecavalier and Marty St. Louis being traded away to competing franchises. Yet, today in their matinee against the Bruins they played like a playoff team, not a rebuilding franchise.

In net for the Lightning was Kari Ramo, another one of the 5 goalies the Lightning have used this season. He came into Sunday boasting an atrocious 1-3-1 record with a 4.22 GAA. Surely, this seemed as if the Bruins were going to have a field day against the 22 year old Finland native. However, for the 2nd consecutive night the Bruins were victims of a goalie in the zone.

Phil Kessel started the game off with a bang, scoring within the first 2 minutes of the puck dropping, good for his 25th of the season. The Lightning were not shy to strike back, scoring 2 goals within 15 seconds of eachother to give them a 2-1 edge. Nearing the close of the 1st, alternate captain Andrew Ference added his first goal of the season on the powerplay to let the Bruins skate into the locker room tied at 2-2.

As the game went on, Ramo seemed to get more clutch. Stopping nearly every Bruins chance for the next 40 minutes. 20 year veteran Mark Recchi netted his 13th goal of the season and his 535th of his career at the halfway mark of the 2nd. After Zdeno Chara tied it with 4 and half minutes left in the 2nd the teams skated off tied yet again.

In the 3rd period, it was all Kari. He stoned the Bruins again and again. As Andrew Ference got called for a delay of game penalty with 3 minutes left in the game, the Lightning found themselves on the powerplay yet again. One Vinny Prospal snapshot by Fernandez later and the game was over. The 13th place Lightning had beaten the NHL best Boston Bruins.

Just what went wrong for Boston? The answer is goaltending. A what-appeared-rusty Manny Fernandez stopped just 14 of Tampa's 18 shots. That's good for a .770 save percentage for those who are curious. He often looked overmatched and made a rookie mistake on an Adam Hall wrap-around. With 7 games in the proceeding 14 days Fernandez will undoubtedly find himself with a chance to redeem this rather awful game.

The Bruins head home tonight where they'll start a 6 game homestand on Tuesday against the Florida Panthers. They'll look to avenge their shut-out loss to Tomas Vokoun and the Panthers on Saturday. This homestand will be a big test for the Boston Bruins without question as they play host to 5 teams currently in the playoff picture.

Vokoun Leads Panthers Over B's

Green seats were rare tonight in the BankAtlantic Center but that didn't distract Tomas Vokoun and the Florida Panthers from stopping the Bruins. For the Bruins, it was just their 2nd game in 6 days and 1st since Tuesday. One could make the case for rust, but it doesn't stick. They got outplayed and most notably by Czech goalie Tomas Vokoun.

Vokoun, a 2007 All-Star goalie struggled greatly as the season began, at one point even losing his starting job to Craig Anderson. However, there's no question that the 32 year old is returning to All-Star form. In the month of February, Vokoun is 7-2-0 with a 1.66 GAA including 3 shut-outs. With 2 of those shut-out's coming against Eastern Conference powerhouses in both Boston and New Jersey the play of Vokoun will undoubtedly be the deciding factor in whether the Panthers make the playoffs or not.

It's official. We've found the Bruins biggest flaw. When you shut down the powerplay, the Boston Bruins are going to struggle to score goals. Twice tonight the Bruins were gifted with a double minor powerplay and failed to score on both chances. As the Bruins finished the night an awful 0-6 on the powerplay, they also let up an untimely shorthanded goal that put the Panthers up 1-0.

There was no doubt that following Radek Dvorak's 1st goal scored in the first 2 minutes of the 3rd period the momentum was shifted into the Panthers hands, where it stayed for the rest of the night. From there on out, the Panthers defense stymied the Bruins on every attempt in their zone, causing frustrating play after play for the Black and Gold. Once again, the Bruins found themselves unable to stay on-sides, a new found problem for the Bruins.

Is the loss of Michael Ryder affecting the Bruins more than they'd like to admit? How much longer can GM Peter Chiarelli watch the Bruins offense struggle before he feels heat to make a move for a Nik Antropov or Erik Cole? Tomorrow, the Bruins travel to Tampa Bay where they'll play the cellar-dwelling Tampa Bay Lightning in a rare Sunday 5 o'clock game.

First To Forty; Bruins vs. Panthers Preview

While the Hurricanes celebrated the career of defensemen Glen Wesley, the Bruins did a little celebration of their own. In front of the 18,000+ at the RBC Center in Raleigh, N.C the Bruins won their 40th game. In doing so, they became the first team in the 2008-09 NHL season to win 40. With last night's win the Bruins are just one more win away from matching last seasons total with 24 games left to play.

There's no question that last Tuesday was more than just another win. It ended the Bruins recent 4 game skid. The problem was their lack of scoring, and lack of production out of their special teams. Before Tuesdays game, the Bruins were a pitiful 2-39 on the powerplay. However, there's no question the streak was in their minds as they broke out for two powerplay goals and a shorthanded tally.

The 5-1 rout also gave way to Patrice Bergeron's first goal in nearly 3 months. Granted, it was an empty netter but there's no question the goal took a weight off the 23 year old's shoulders. Bergeron's recent play has been strong, playing particularly well on the penalty kill. He may not be the 70+ point guy Bruins fans remember from the 2006-07 season but with an offense as high powered as the current one, he doesn't have to be. He's found a new role on this team, and that suits him just fine.

This game also marked the official season sweep of the Carolina Hurricanes for the Boston Bruins. It's the first time in the entire history of the Bruins vs. Whalers/Hurricanes series that one team has swept. The Bruins finished the series outscoring the 'Canes 18-6. In a way, Bruins fans should be rooting for the Hurricanes to capture the 8th seed in the playoffs so the Bruins can dismantle Cam Ward for another 4 games.

Tonight, the Bruins are in Miami, Florida where they'll do battle with the streaking Florida Panthers. Florida comes into tonight's game looking to rebound after Thursdays 4-0 loss to the Blackhawks. For the Panthers, it was just their 3rd loss in February. If they expect to compete with the Bruins tonight they're going to have to play defensively and not allow Boston to get as many shots as goal as Chicago did on Thursday. The Florida defense let Chicago get 44 shots on Tomas Vokoun, ultimately leading to a 4-0 win.

Should Visors Be Mandatory in the NHL?

We've all seen it a hundred times: the inevitable high-stick. Often, it'll catch a player in the neck or face lightly without injury and earn the high-sticker two minutes in the sin-bin. When blood is drawn however, it'll result in a four minute double minor. As the number of high-sticking injuries climbs yet again, the age old debate must be brought up yet again: Should the NHL make visors mandatory? The general consensus among former players and executives is yes.

Too often key players have been affected by such an injury. Notably, Mats Sundin, Steve Yzerman and Dany Heatley have all been shelved by an injury to the eye. Perhaps the most startling injury was the one suffered by defensemen Bryan Berard, who lost vision in 80 percent of his left eye after taking a Marian Hossa stick to the eye back in 2000. Berard was never the same. His vision was now at a 20/600 scale, but when given a contact lenses after seven eye surgeries that adjusted him to 20/400 Berard was allowed to play in the NHL again. Berard was unable to find a solid home, bouncing to five different teams in the following six seasons. He currently plays for the KHL in Russia with Vityaz Chekhov.

Although the visor does help, it doesn't automatically mean your eyes are protected. While playing in Europe, Ottawa Senators star Dany Heatley caught a puck in the eye while wearing a visor, resulting in him having a permanently dilated left eye.

One case against the use of visors are the players problems experienced with visors. Eric Lindros, a former six time all-star had his own personal complaints with wearing visors. He felt that he couldn't see as well, a common problem had by players who attempt to wear the visor for the first time. Another case against visors is the hockey players mentality. It's often viewed as a sign of weakness by fellow players, thinking that one player is "hiding" behind his visor. Sean Avery's comments made of Denis Gauthier only reinforce that line of thinking: "I think it was typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not backing anything up."

Even most NHL referees have obliged to wearing a visor after their colleague Rob Martell was struck in the face with an errant puck. Wearing a visor has even become a mandatory policy in the AHL, implemented in the 2006-07 season, stating that the well-being of the players was in the leagues best interest. It appears that the AHL's best are adjusting well to the rule as well, many of them opting to keep the visor when they receive the call-up to the NHL.

The NHL's newest victim of a high-stick injury was the Bruins RW Michael Ryder. Ryder took an Antoine Vermette high-stick late in the 3rd period of a game against Ottawa. Ryder's injury required surgery for three small fractures in his face and must now wear a cage or visor for the rest of this season and possibly his career. "I was just lucky it wasn't my eye" an optimistic Ryder said following yesterday's practice. Bryan Berard is living proof Michael, you are indeed very lucky.

Time To Pull Trade Trigger?

There may be another 19 days until the March 4th NHL trading deadline but it's certainly on the mind of fans already. This year, the Bruins will undoubtedly be buyers, looking for that veteran or added depth to help their quest for their first Stanley Cup in 37 years. With left-winger Marco Sturm done for the year the Bruins have his 3.5 million dollar salary and plus to work with to bring in another player. Let's start with the obvious: the Bruins are not in the market for Ilya Kovalchuk, Marian Gaborik or Vincent Lecavalier, nor should they be. All 3 players have high salaries not to mention their astronomical asking price.

With Ryder out for another 3 weeks, Kessel struggling to regain his scoring touch and the cooling down of Blake Wheeler the Bruins should definitely consider all their options. In my opinion, player such as Petteri Nokelainen, Vladimir Sobotka, Matt Lashoff, Matt Hunwick and even Manny Fernandez in certain situations can be used as trade bait. For the right price, I can see Peter Chiarelli throwing in a 1st round draft pick to sweeten the deal. With these players potiental and age to the Bruins advantage, they need to see who's on the market in order to potientally add that one piece for the Cup Run.

Let's start in Toronto where Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is beginning the selling of center/right-winger Nik Antropov. Burke has publicly stated that he does not see Antropov being apart of the Leafs future and with an expiring contract, one can bet that he'll be looking to move the 6'6 forward. With a 2.2 million dollar salary he doesn't come as a big risk not to mention Burke's familiarity with the Bruins from his Anaheim days. Antropov has struggled in spurts this year, including a dreadful stretch where he went goal-less in 16 games straight but the upside is there when you factor in his size, potiental, and powerplay production (5 PPG, 5 PPA). His -15 isn't anything to write home about but realize how terrible the Maple Leafs and their goaltending has truly been. Antropov's stock has undoubtedly gone up given his latest hot streak of scoring goals in 4 of his last 7 games.

In St. Louis the Blues just won't die. Making the situation with Keith Tkachuk that much more diffecult for potiental buyers. Although the Blues find themselves in 14th place, they're just 8 points away from the 8th seed. There's no question the Bruins would be interested in a veteran such as Tkachuk, but his health and St. Louises asking price could give the Bruins a reason to stand back. Tkachuk's trade to Atlanta in 2007 only strengthens the Bruins desire to stay away from the Medford native.

There's no team that demonstrates the word 'bubble-team' better than the Edmonton Oilers. The Oilers are currently 3 points away from the 5th seed and 7 points away from the 15th seed. However, the Oilers are insistent upon the idea that Erik Cole is on the market. Cole, a player capable of playing both LW and RW has struggled fitting into the Oilers offense, producing just 22 points in 54 games. However, his best days came with Carolina where he posted 50+ points in his final seasons along with a total of a +26. Cole is a gritty player who fights for every possession and has a knack for scoring too, a perfect fit in the Claude Julien system. Given the Oilers rumored asking price (Sobotka and Lashoff) the Bruins should definitely keep a close eye on this one.

Perhaps the most intriguing option resides in Anaheim. Chris Pronger, a physical and ferocious defensmen is rumored to be on the block by the Ducks. Pronger currently makes just over 6 million dollars and is under contract for 2009-10 which makes the idea of trading for him more difficult given the Bruins current salary-cap predicament. There's no question the idea of having Chara and Pronger on the ice for 20+ minutes in the playoffs is an intriguing option for Boston and a terrifying one for their opponents his salary may not fit into the Bruins budget without the B's having to give up a key piece of their team. One idea I had is a three-way trade in which the Bruins send Manny Fernandez to Colorado, Colorado sends Jordan Leopold to Anaheim and Pronger comes to Boston.

Top 10 Ugliest Jerseys in NHL History

As I'm still rubbing my eyes to fight off the daze the Canadiens jerseys threw me in on Sunday, I took time to wonder, just what is the ugliest jersey in the history of the NHL? There's been many throughout the years, almost too many. Some of us make them go, people wore that? Or some of them make us say "God, who approved this?". But just what is the ugliest jersey in NHL history?

10) New Jersey Devils - This christmas-esque jersey lasted from the eighties to the early 90's. It was truly a sewer water colored green, I guess it represents New Jersey well. One thing come to mind when viewing this jersey: "Hey don't the elves working at the Mall wear these?".

9) Edmonton Oilers - This was an alternate jersey for the Oilers up until this year when they made their alternate the famous 1980's blue and orange. I always asked "what the hell is this?" when seeing the center logo, is it an oil drop with cranks? Why does an oil drop have cranks?

8) Pittsburgh Penguins - In between the early 90's and early 21st century, the Penguins were stuck in an apparent crossroads in where they wanted to go with their uniforms. It appeared that they were trying to become more modern, but didn't want to move on from their current logo at the same time. While they did they have one of best duos in the game with Mario and Jaromir in their prime the result of this crossroad? Uglier than Jagr's hair-cut.

7) Atlanta Thrashers - Much like the Oilers 3rd jersey, this one left me scratching my head. Was it a bird or a grappling hook? Was it anything? I don't even think they knew really. The Thrasher is the state bird of Georgia, so obviously what you're expecting is a big, probably angry looking bird holding a stick, nope. It's a pure grappling hook if you ask me.

6) New York Islanders - This bad boy worn from '95-'97 made the Islanders even more of a laughing stock. I guess they have alot working against them, it's hard to make orange, blue, white and an odd purple-ish color look nice. It didn't take long for this one to get thrown into the dumpster. Since when is the Gorton's Fisherman guy the goalie for the Isles?

5) Phoenix Coyotes - Another closet dweller, and for good reason. The alternate of the 1998-99 Coyotes screamed "Look at this and not need to sit down!". It was far too busy for a hockey jersey, it looked more like the wallpaper pattern of a TexMex restaurant. It's a shame a player as great as Jeremy Roenick had to wear this garbage and not a B on his chest. And what's up with the desert pattern along the bottom of the jersey? Better question, why's the coyote have two different colored faces, is he Harvey Dent?

4) Boston Bruins - This brute was an alternate jersey up until the 2006-07 season. The Bruins, one of most historically documented franchises, known for hard hitting and fights were wearing a yellow mustard colored jersey with a smiling bear. Yes, a smiling bear. This bear wasn't promoting forest fire awareness or doing tricks, he was just sitting there looking content. Anyone who still wears this deserves to be arrested.

3) Montreal Canadiens - These are their throwbacks from 1911. There's a reason they're not worn anymore fellas. It looked like they were wearing Scrooge's pajamas out there. All they needed was a candle and a hat and to be creeping around with 3 ghosts (of The Forum) to complete the package.

2) Nashville Predators - Puke yellow, always a good choice. History proves that, just look at the Nashville Predators 3rd jersey.

The "Predator" himself looks like a yawning house-cat with tooth picks in his mouth. Also, who thought putting the same logo that's on the chest on the shoulders would be a great and interesting idea?

1) Vancouver Canucks - This beauty, worn from 1978-1985 was simply horrifying to everyone. Women fainted, small children cried and for justifiable reasons. The epic Vancouver Canucks jersey looked like something out of an 80's hip-hop video. I mean how lazy could you get? It's just a V, V for Vancouver? V for Victory-less. The Canucks are still cup-less, and because of this jersey they don't deserve to win a Stanley Cup for 100 years.

Elite of the East

Consider this past week yet another test for the Black and Gold. Their mission was by no means an easy one. Just beat Washington, New Jersey, the Rangers and the Habs. Oh, and that game against Montreal yeah that's going to be in Montreal, a place in which you've only won 100 times in 85 years. The comeback kids themselves, the Boston Bruins proved to they're the true elite of the Eastern Conference by picking up 7 out of a possible 8 points. Their biggest win was by 2 goals, showing their ability to keep games close and hang with some of the league's best scoring teams.



The key factor in the Bruins week was the goaltending. Tim Thomas went 2-0-1 and showed great poise against Montreal and Washington, arguably the East's best offensive teams behind Boston. Even on Thomas' day off the Finnish Flash Tuukka Rask stepped in and held the over-hype that are the New York Rangers to nothing. His poise and positioning was that of a seasoned veteran as the 21 year old notched his 1st career shut out. Even without Manny Fernandez, it's apparent the Bruins have a solid goal-tending situation.



Not only was the victories all well and dandy for the Bruins but the fashions in which they're getting the job done is key. In 3 of the 4 games the Bruins come back from a deficit to tie or take the lead. Weather it was 1 or even 2 goals the Bruins showed their unwillingness to throw the towel in and quit. They keep fighting and fighting until the final horn blows to end the game. It's the characteristics that only show you that this team is playoff ready and they are the Beast of the East.

Yesterday's win over Montreal continued the Bruins streak of getting at least 1 point in to 6 games now. Along with this streak they improved to 9-3-2 in 2009 and have only lost 1 game by more than 1 goal (January 3rd vs. Buffalo). The quest for a Presidents Trophy continues later this week with two road games against the always dangerous Flyers and last place Ottawa Senators before the B's return home to take on the Flyers in a Saturday matinee at the Garden.

The Price Is Wrong: Hosted by Guy Carbonneau

Well it appears the only thing the Habs are going to be winning this year is the All-Star Game line-up voting. Today the Bruins beat their arch-rivals for the 4th time in a row, and continue to earn atleast 1 point in all 5 of their meetings against Montreal. What happened to the almighty Montreal Canadiens? Well the answer is simple, they downgraded.

Out with the old, in with the nothing to help. Over the off-season the Habs let RW Michael Ryder and D Mark Streit go to free agency along with Bryan Smolinski. Ryder struggled mightily under Carbo's game plan but is once again thriving with the Bruins and coach Claude Julien. Streit, a more than viable powerplay weapon was let go due to his asking price and Smolinski, well he's just a guy with a soulpatch living in the 21st century, life's going to be rough for him no matter what. Then they made their big addition; Georges Laraque. Laraque? The guy who's utterly useless with his gloves on? Then they trade away their 1st round pick and a 2nd rounder in '09 for Alex Tanguay. A capable winger but still, for your 1st round pick? They concluded their off-season by adding Robert Lang at the cost of a 1st round pick in '09. The bleu, blanc and rogue traded both their '08 and '09 1st round choice for 2 veterans with one year left on their deals, the thinking behind these moves was simple, The Cup Run.

Judging by his hype, you would have thought the Canadiens had the second coming of Jesus in net in Carey Price. He shined last year, posting a 24-12-3 record last year with a .920 SV% but this year it's been a different story for the sophmore out of British Columbia. He's struggled to stay consistent, going from giving up 6 goals a game back to a shutout then 6 goals again in his next start. Not to mention he's been considerably outplayed by 'back-up' Jaroslav Halak. Price has a GAA just over 2 and half and it's appearing he's closer to Andrew Raycroft than Patrick Roy. Savior? Not yet.

Bringing number 25 to the Bell Centre rafters isn't coming nearly as easy as it looked. Staying healthy has been a very daunting and nearly impossible task for the Habitants de Montreal. They've been without Saku Koivu, Chris Higgins, Alex Tanguay, Carey Price, Georges Laraque, Mathieu Dandenault, Mike Komisarek all for extended periods of time. Add 2 more names to the M*A*S*H unit as Robert Lang is apparently out for the season with an achilles tendon injury and Guillame Latendresse may need surgery for a shoulder injury sustained in today's 3-1 loss to the Boston Bruins.

Currently, Ryder is lighting the lamp on the Krejci line in Boston with 18 goals, 16 assists and sporting a +20. He's undoubtedly found his role on this Bruins team, something he couldn't do under the Carbo Regime in Montreal. Mark Streit has continued to shine as an offensive defensemen for the god-awful New York Islanders. He's collected 22 of his 37 points on the powerplay, netting as many goals on the PP as he did as a Hab last year. And Smolinski, well I bet he still has a soul-patch. With Tanguay, Laraque and Lang all on injured reserve and guys like Chipchura, O'Byrne, Henry and Pacioretty all having to fill roles beyond their means one can't help but ponder if Bob Gainey is regretting letting all these players go.

So with the division virtually out of reach, 18 points behind Boston after today's loss the future is uncertain for Montreal. Will they resurge and capture the 4th seed or will they continue to stumble into a 6, 7 or even 8th seed? Will Gainey sell the farm to get Vinny in a blood-red colored jersey? Will Price find himself splitting time with Halak almost 50-50? One thing's certain, nothing's ever certain in Montreal.